Clintonium!

Logan the Nightlight Assassin

August 29th, 2005 - Comments (1)

As of this writing, Logan has achieved full mobility status and continues to upgrade his functionality on a daily basis. For all you non-geeks, that’s techspeak for: we’ve got a walker here folks!! And not only that, but he has already figured out how to employ his new-found powers for nefarious purposes. He must’ve missed that chat where Uncle Ben tells Spidey, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Logan has developed a fascination with nightlights. Specifically, a fascination with pulling them out of their sockets and taking them apart to see how all the pieces fit together. I think that, deep inside, he would like to take a very surgical and diagnostic approach to studying them, using an array of tools to carefully disect them and catalogue their contents. It’s obvious in his manner, when he has just pulled a nightlight from the wall and is holding it up at arms length, face intense with concentration. There’s a thirst for empirical knowledge there. But, since his fine motor skills haven’t yet caught up with his lofty aspirations, he is forced to settle for simply banging the nightlight against any available hard surface until the components surrender their stubborn hold on one another and fly in all directions.

We’ve done our best to keep nightlights out of his hands, but it requires unceasing vigilance. At bedtime, after Logan is locked — er, tucked — safely in his crib, the nightlights go in their sockets. And at dawn, before Logan wakes up, they get removed and put away, with harmless plug covers inserted in their places. It’s just that there are so many nightlights strewn throughout the house, and the process of stowing them is such a tedious ritual in an already overflowing schedule. Sometimes a nightlight gets overlooked and left in its place.

But never for long.

As soon as Logan hits the floor each morning he’s off in the hunt. For him, visiting every baseboard wall socket in the house is not a tiring chore, it’s an exciting contest which offers occasional rich rewards.

I think the Checkout lady at Walgreens is beginning to suspect what’s up. She’s politely avoided asking any questions so far, but the other day, when I was buying two more nightlights, she coughed a very fake sounding cough that almost sounded like it was stifling a bit of a chuckle.