Avoiding an Entangler
This happened several months ago and I’m not sure why it crossed my mind again this morning. Maybe there’s still a faint, suppressed curiosity on my part. Or, more likely, it has to do with my tendency to revisit past conversations and mentally rescript them for improved dramatic effect. Usually the lines of other people stay the same, but mine get a lot better. More eloquent, more insightful, more witty, scathing, concise, or what have you.
Anyway, I was down in Oceanside visiting my cousin Shepard who was due to ship out for Army basic training in a couple weeks. We had just bought a hot dog for a homeless man who was hanging around outside a Wienerschnitzel, and we were headed to a little comic book shop that Shepard knew about. That’s when we saw her.
My instincts said she was an Entangler. You know: someone with an agenda… they’re looking to sell you something, or recruit you for something, and they’re willing to pursue it in the most direct and aggressive of ways. There are little tells that usually give an Entangler away: the locked-in eye contact; the artificial smile; the gathering up of breath for the spiel. I only had four days to spend with Shepard and I didn’t want to spend half of a day arguing with some kooky stranger on a street corner. She stepped towards me with the crafty look of a salesman and said, “Can I ask you a question?”
Uncharacteristically for me, I smiled, said “No,” and just blew past her. And that was the end of it.
And that was probably the best way to handle it. But this morning I was thinking that if I could go back it might be fun to handle it like this…
Me: “In theory, yes, but in practice I can probably answer your question before you ask it. Would you like to see? Answer One is, ‘Sorry, I’m flat broke.’ Answer Two is ‘Sorry, I’m already committed to another cult.’ And Answer Three is just an all-purpose ‘Sorry, I’m in a terrible rush.’ So now you can either self-select the best fit from that list, or, if you like, we can run through the ritual of you asking your question and me selecting the best fit for you. What’s your preference?”
Yeah… so that concludes our little Walter Mitty fantasy for today.