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Daddy’s Night From Hell

January 11th, 2006 - Comments (5)

Last night Lisa went out to play Volleyball at the Marshall Center and I was left to watch the boys all by myself for the first time (at least from a “night out” perspective). As it turned out, it was a night which would live in infamy. A night which would claim the uncontested title of “Daddy’s Night from HELL.”

(Insert ominous B-movie fanfare here…)

The boys had finished eating dinner, and I had just sat down to start eating, when all of these things happened, one after the other, within the space of about 10 minutes. It still amazes me to recall it…

1. Logan emptied all the soft soap from the hand pump onto the bathroom counter.

   Then, while I was cleaning that up…

2. Levi pooped his pants (uh… not in a diaper).

   Then, while I stood Levi in the bathroom, took off and threw away his underwear, and attempted to salvage his pants…

3. Logan pulled all 60 or so wetwipes out of the diaper wipe dispenser and distributed them around the living room.

   And while I stood in shock, staring at that…

4. Levi wiped his poopy bottom with his bare hand.

   Then, best of all, while I ran the decontamination drill with Levi…

5. Logan climbed up in my chair, ate part of my dinner, and rubbed a dirty sock in the parts he didn’t want.

   Which finally leads us to the punchline, where…

6. Levi said, “Daddy… why do you look so upset?”

Ahem… good times.