Yet Will I Trust In Him?
I’ve been following Jason’s series of posts as he unpacks the content of “In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day” by Mark Batterson. It has been great and challenging stuff so far. I started to comment on his most recent entry, but as the comment grew and grew, I realized that God was leading me to take a deeper look at an issue that has been running under the surface of my relationship with Him for a while now: How willing am I to really trust Him? How surrendered am I to His will in my life?
Jason summarizes three of the points (among others) as:
- Lion chasers thrive in the toughest circumstances because they know that impossible odds set the stage for amazing miracles.
- The reality is that nothing is too difficult for God.
- God is always working behind the scenes, engineering our circumstances and setting us up for success.
In looking at #1 and #2, my first and most honest response is, sure, God can do anything, but will He? I think we recognize impossible odds as impossible precisely because they’re borne out the vast majority of the time. And amazing miracles are amazing precisely because they happen so infrequently. Most people diagnosed with terminal cancer pray for a miraculous healing. And most of them don’t receive it. Sure, going to heaven to be with God is “the ultimate healing”, but that’s not what they’re asking for in the middle of the struggle, is it?
Point #3 argues that God is always setting us up to succeed. But success in God’s divine plan rarely seems to parallel success as we naturally think of it. In fact, it often looks an awful lot like failure. Some of the most successful followers of Christ in history were regularly beaten and imprisoned. They suffered from poverty, hunger, disability, and disease. They lived their lives in apparent futility and were ultimately executed in various horrible ways by various despots. God didn’t shut the lions mouths. He didn’t deliver them from the furnaces. At least not in ways that the world could appreciate. They surrendered themselves to God, and they got tortured and killed.
Can I accept that? Can I completely trust in and surrender myself to a God who may have that sort of success planned for me? For my wife? For my children? A small voice in the back of my head says, no thanks, I can take better care of myself.
Accepting the offer of salvation is easy. Accepting the call to destruction is hard. Common sense tells me that if I chase enough lions, I’ll eventually get mauled and eaten. I’m trying to invest myself in God’s definition of success as opposed to the world’s, but it’s an ongoing struggle. I want to be able to say yes to Him, not just with my mouth, but with my whole heart.
Prayers appreciated.
15 Comments So Far
2. Clint wrote:
That’s exactly it Maria. It’s all about what we want vs. what God has in store for us. And the only way to reconcile those two is for one of them to die. Some people might say it’s easy, because once you surrender yourself to God, you simply want whatever He has in store for you. But for me, surrender isn’t a one-time deal, it’s a daily struggle.
3. Lisa Weber wrote:
I’ve got that same small voice. I don’t WANT to be beaten, raped, tortured for my beliefs…but I like to think that if I were in that situation, my faith would help me out in that I would somehow mentally withdraw into myself to get through it.
I second your last sentence, but frankly…I DO fear that saying yes with my whole heart will lead me into some nasty situation like having to sell everything I own and move to some country that I find entirely distasteful. That’s not who I am or what I want for myself, and so, out of fear, I hold back.
4. prnsis_anita wrote:
The thing that struck me most about what you wrote was relief! Relief that someone (you) that I see and view as a very faithful and devoted child of God could feel the same as I at times. I have to keep reminding myself that I am HUMAN and God KNOWS I am human. I am going to have fears, doubts etc. I am not expected to walk around like Snow White with Bluebirds flying around my head and other furry forest creatures scampering around my feet. But I am expected to take those fears and doubts and lay them at the feet of my Saviour. Will I still worry? Will I still fear? Will I still doubt? Yes. But as I grow in Christ I know I have the promise that those fears, doubt and worry will lessen as I learn and mature in my faith. I was recently drawn to Hebrews 5:8 “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered”. It showed me that even Jesus suffered. He was tempted, tormented, mocked, beaten but he continued to have faith in his Father and continued with his free will to follow his Fathers commandments and loved us all the way we are to love one another. He loved the ones who betrayed him, beat him, mocked him. He knew that the trials and tribulations he was going thru was only making him stronger in his Fathers love. Thank you for posting this. For I too want to be more than just a mouthpiece of his glory and grace, I want to BELIEVE it with my whole heart, mind, body and soul.
5. prnsis_anita wrote:
Oh and I too feel it is a daily struggle, sometimes even a minute by minute struggle. To the point where I have found myself praying every second of the day just to get through it. Not long profound prayers. Just repeating Jehovah, Abba, Yahweh, Jesus over and over again. And when I lay my head down at night making it through yet another day, I know a miracle as happened in my life.
6. Murrilia wrote:
I have often felt that God’s idea of a good life and mine were quite different. It has been easy to trust him for eternity, but sometimes hard to trust him for today and tomorrow.
7. Smart Blond :) wrote:
This blog has touched my heart. I am in a situation right now…with the father of my child. I think that I love this man with all my heart. A man who is self-professed to remain single for the rest of his life due to his failed marriage with another woman. But at the same time all these different situations arise that test my spirit and my sanity. The people in his life to me are obstacles in the way of ever having a relationship with him. But I feel guilty for thinking this because God commands us to love our “enemies”. The question is why has God allowed this man to come into my life? Was it just to screw up and get pregnant with him…only to watch him go back to his ex and proceed to marry her ? Are we to just remain co-parents of this beautiful child who is my life, my heart? Or are we to struggle through all this to eventually be together as a family?
All I know I is I feel like God is testing me to the fullest. I have surrendered this man to God once before when I was at wits end. God gave me the peace I desired but alas it was short lived because now my heart is in turmoil once again and I am seeking answers that aren’t coming. I am having a harder time this time letting God control this situation because I am wondering if this love in my heart for this man who brings me this pain is real or will God show and bring to me the man he desires me to be with the rest of my life? Please hurry God because I am not getting any younger! LOL
8. Clint wrote:
That sounds really difficult Christine. I’ll pray that God gives you patience and wisdom as He leads you through it.
9. Sid wrote:
Faith is the one thing that God asks us to test him in. I finished up a work project and was out of work for 3 & 1/2 months, but continued to tithe and trust in the Lord and be in his word daily. I can tend to be impatient, a work-a-holic, so this was a tough time for me. Try to imagine searching the internet for work, calling on ths phone, going to job interviews (not many) for over a 3 month period. I was getting stir crazy being in the house. But although I could not visually see things happening around me, God was at work.
You guys are probably going to think I’m nuts, but..(Do I look worried)
One morning I was woken by my name being called, just once. It was so clear and unmistakable. Lifting my head up, my response - “aaah..Yes/Yeah?” (my excuse - well I was asleep). I crawled out of bed at 6am or so. My wife leaves for work at 3:30am, so I knew it wasn’t her (and the house was empty). Was that my calling?? I’m certaintly getting much closer to God. Perhaps “Yes” was all that he wanted to hear from me?
And then a few days after that, while on my computer, another voice (spoken directly into my minds ear). It said “Patience is faith in action.” I knew it was spoken by an Angel. (I don’t know how I know, just that I do know)
So we now have this statement posted on the fridge. Perhaps the “voices” were just my subconscience delivering up thoughts that I had been pondering(?)
I started a new job and we increased our tithing. Money doesn’t worry me like it used to…
(God owns everything anyway, right?)
10. Clint wrote:
Thanks for the thoughtful comments everyone. I’m always amazed at how a little transparency enables God to work in our hearts.
11. Maureen Williams wrote:
This could potentially be long winded but here goes…One night I was talking to friend at a party and she said that she didn’t believe in God because Her Aunt the most religious member of her family had died a long horrible death due to cancer. I could relate to this because my mother was lost to cancer when I was only 19. My mother was also very devoted to her Catholic faith to the extent that she saw a healing priest (whole other long story) to find out how to make her passing more peaceful and make herself right with God. At that moment what I believe to this day to be the reasoning for the suffering entered my head and I still think it to be true at least in some cases. I believe that when you go to heaven it’s all the answers you needed all the peace you sought and all the love there were only traces of on earth. If you get there under random circumstances like dying instantly in car wreck, you will definitely be at peace and overwhelmingly happy. Imagine if you suffered a great deal before you went. Imagine how much sweeter that relief would be, it’s like when you are thirsty you drink water and it quenches you, but when you are parched to the point of your voice going scratchy that water satisfies your whole body not just your mouth and throat, the same result is achieved but the second case has a much larger impact. So perhaps this is just me trying to understand why my mother went through so much having been such a good person but I feel that it is more then that. I don’t know if this helps but I thought I’d mention it.
12. Clint wrote:
Yeah, I totally see what you’re saying Maureen. That’s a cool perspective.
I can relate to your atheist friend too. When I was a kid, my paternal Grandmother, who was an extremely devout woman, got cancer. She refused all medical treatment because she was certain that God was going to heal her, and then a couple of grueling months later, she died. I think we all have experiences like that that we can point to. Where good people suffer, or where we pray and don’t get what we ask for. The question is, what do we do with those experiences? Personally, I don’t think they disprove the existence of God — they just disprove certain conceptions of God.
I’ve thought about the flip side too, which is: what if there was a guaranteed recipe for getting certain things from God? Oddly enough, I don’t think it would strengthen our faith. We would just queue in line for the handout (with a sense of entitlement) and then go on about our business. Sometimes I wonder if the very lack of formulas is something that helps to drive us deeper into a genuine relationship with Him…
13. Jason wrote:
I believe that the obstacle to this sort of faith is self-centeredness (fear of failure, fear of looking bad to others, and a desire to be comfortable as the world teaches us). I can say this because I have lived it. For a long time I thought that I had a better plan for myself than what God has allowed so far.
This is illustrated well with my kids too. Sometimes when I tell them to do something, they decide to do something else first. They may not take the time to think that maybe I asked them to do that thing right then for a reason. Instead, they do what they consider to be most important first, then they may do what I ask. Sometimes, this is a big deal, and sometimes it isn’t, but when it is, I need them to know that I asked them to do the task right then for a reason. So, even when their action turns out just fine, we still have a discussion about it. They need to trust me and rely on me to make good decisions in these times. When they are older, they will make these choices on their own, but for now, listening to a parent and obeying is the correct protocol. Because it is so important, it is not an option in our family. Of course, this puts a lot of pressure on me to have considered all the alternatives.
The point is that if I tell my child to get out of the street as they are retrieving a ball, it’s most likely because I have a sense of danger that they may not perceive. The “I know what I am doing” attitude could get them killed while the obedient action could save their life. I think it’s the same way with God. When we feel that nudge but instead of listening, we decide that our plan is better, we are telling God to take a back seat. The dangers are that we may end up getting hurt, or just as bad - we may miss an opportunity that He is trying to give us to experience something great.
Clint, you said that accepting the call to destruction is hard. I would say that your use of the word “destruction” is part of what is holding you back. What the world considers destruction, God often times calls greatness. When He calls someone to go through circumstances that at first seem less than acceptable, it’s actually not that at all. To the one the God is using for a purpose, it is not destruction - it’s the closest possible communion with God. This kind of “destruction” has changed everything in our world, beginning with what God has already done for us on the cross. Who are we to say thanks for that, but I choose not to be there when you call me?
It is in those moments that your life may be defined. A true faith in the God of the Universe is met by His perfect love, and according to 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love. But, perfect love drives out fear.” Where fear is absent, the power of God is maximized and that makes us victorious. So, the only question to ask is, will you put your trust in God, or will you put it in yourself?
14. Clint wrote:
Thanks for continuing to challenge me Jason.
I hope I didn’t give the impression that I truly think I can take better care of myself, or that I think surrendering myself to God is a bad thing. My main point in writing this was simply to raise my hand and say, “I have a problem.” I meant it to be more of a confessional than a conclusion. For too long I’ve been one of those smiling and nodding faces that was unwilling to really grapple honestly with the full implications of surrendering myself and my loved ones to God. So I guess I’m trying to count the cost, and I think this was a good first step.
15. MrMrs wrote:
I was just thinking more about your post and I’m reminded of the joke where the saint of the neighborhood refuses to leave his house during a flood despite 3 offers of rescue because he believes that God will save him. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God why didn’t he save him, and God replied “I tried three times to save you but you wouldn’t go.” Perhaps your not so out of line with your way of thinking. I suppose if you feel deep inside that you are not connected the way you should be to God that is an issue, but if you feel that way just because you worry and you take precautions in life, well I think God wants us to do that and gives us what we need to do that. Anything is within God’s power but that doesn’t mean he is going to do just anything. If you’ve had too much to drink and slam your car into a semi-truck, that’s not because you lacked the faith that would’ve moved the truck. Noone has lived longer then seemed reasonable that we know of , everyone must go at sometime, if you can trust God’s reasoning for taking someone important to the world or someone you loved very much that shows faith. I see signs everywhere when I pay attention. The materialism of this world makes focus and sacrifice seem impossible if we can’t give up cable even how could we make the ultimate sacrifice or be paying enough attention to know that that is what’s expected. Finally let’s not forget the apostle that denied Jesus hours after he had promised Jesus he would never do that and still he was forgiven. He knew Jesus personally and still denied him, we have a lot less to work with in the physical respect “proof” is not readily available to the scientists but we are still able to believe. We shouldn’t chase miracles I say we should just pay attention to what God wants of us and then try our hardest to do that. Not everyone is destined for miracles, at least not to the level of parting the Red Sea, and perhaps being able to do amazing things with your faith isn’t a miracle but simply a sign that your on the right path.
1. Maria wrote:
WOW! Twice now you have said things that make me wonder about my own path with God. I have been reading 1 and 2 Peter and he talks somewhat about these things. It seems that for me, Heaven is what I long for. To be dead does not scare me. I look forward to the day God brings me home, and at the same time, I realize that the reason He has not done that yet is because He has other things He wants for me to accomplish here on earth. I suppose that surrendering everything is what I need to do and as yourself that is a never ending struggle for me. I am kinda in the same boat with answering that question as you feel, “No thanks, I can take better care of myself.” I think what I am finding in that is that I am not accepting that what I want is not what God has in store for me and I need to just buck up and GET OVER IT! Not always an easy thing to do though. So I just continue holding my head above waters and trusting that when I begin to sink, I raise my hand up to Him and He is there as always. I just would love to one day show God that I am a big girl and I can do it with Faith in Him and not alway needing Him to bail me out. If that makes any sense.
Maria