Van + Vomit = Great Sorrow
Last night the unthinkable happened. The unimaginable happened. That unacceptable horror of horrors which ranks near the top of “Daddy’s List of Things That Cannot be Endured” happened.
Levi threw up all over the inside of the van.
We had just come home after a busy day and were in the very act of exiting the vehicle, when Levi, who sits in the back, suddenly stopped and braced himself between the two middle chairs. “Come on Levi, let’s go,” I said. In reply, he made a little burping noise and released a volley of puke all over the upholstery. A moment of stunned silence prevailed, with Lisa and I looking on in muted horror. Then came a second, even more productive heave, as Levi began hosing half-digested foodstuffs like he was Linda Blair. By the third heave I became aware of a desperate and pleading voice crying, “No! No! Noooooooooo!!”, and by the fourth heave I realized that the voice was my own.
Lisa and I spent about two hours last night conducting a hazmat cleanup of the van after the boys were asleep. We removed all 3 carseats, 4 of the chairs, and about 4 bags of belongings, and then scrubbed down and sanitized everything.
This morning the van still smelled like vomit. We went through a second round of scrubbing, but with less hope for a completely restored vehicle.
At this point I’m thinking that our family car has a lot of evergreen-scented air fresheners in its future.
19 Comments So Far
2. Clint wrote:
I don’t think Rancho was to blame. I wondered about that myself, but Lisa said that Levi had complained about his stomach hurting a couple times that morning, so it was probably a bug that finally wore him down.
Sorry to hear that you’ve been down this road too! We’ll keep the shampoo machines in mind… might still need them.
3. Lisa wrote:
Yes, it was really that bad. I gave it another dose of Oust air freshener. Maybe it will help a little. We could only hope.
4. Sean wrote:
Well I sure hope Levi is OK. Simple Green, scrub brush, and a shop vac should do the job. We have been there before 
Good luck.
5. RocVock wrote:
Febreeze acrually works really well. Clint funny stuff man! (Although maybee not so funny when you were experiencing it) It was funny while you were writing about it.. My fav parts were ” A second more productive heave” also when you compared him to linda Blair (who I imagine is the actress who played “The Exorsist,” I also liked “Conducting a hazmat cleanup.”
4 heaves: That’s pretty impresive; you can tell Levi he’s a real man now.
7. HT=) wrote:
Oh so sorry dude! The first time Josh puked in the car we were in traffic in downtown Seattle on our way to Vancouver from Everett. At least you had the comforts of home and a tub full of soapy water =) Although I know because I know you that this was a B I G stretch for you and you seemed to have made it through alive. Good job! (I could feel your pain as I was reading) Leaving all of the windows down for a day or so after soaking the upholstery in Febreeze should do the trick in getting rid of the smell. Megan used to puke if you looked at her wrong so we have been through this way too many times to count. LOL
8. Lisa wrote:
*guffawing* Oh man, that is SO SO SOOOO gross! I’ve dealt with the dog pooping in the car on 3 separate occasions, but not all at once – EWWW!!!! You can do an extra-cleaning on it with a gas station cleaner area dealiemabob…my local Chevron has an area near the carwash with hoses & cleaners & such…but I definitely vote Febreeze over Oust. Oust is just disgusting Lysol with a scent – GAG! Go for the cherry air fresheners, hahaha…
Poor little Levi. Puking is the pits!
Heidi…I loved the line about Megs puking if you looked at her wrong. Too funny! (Poor kid!)
9. prnsis_anita wrote:
Oh this so brought back memories!! We took all the kids to Oaks Park for the day when we got to experience our Exorcist encounter. Micheal and 3 of Genes boys were in the back seat when Micheal’s body decided that the mixture of corndog and the spinning Teacup ride was not a good match. I have never seen 3 bodies fit into the space of about 1/2 an inch as I did that day as Genes boys literally crawled on top of each other to get away from the overspray. We had to stop at the nearest convience store and just stripped Micheal naked, wash him off, calm him down and dress him in a “Toga” of papertowels for the ride home. Oh Good Times!!!!
10. Clint wrote:
Wow, I’m amazed at how many of you have had to trudge through this same dark valley. I’d like to propose a family car with all washable surfaces: plastic, faux leather, whatever does well under the sustained blast of a fire hose. Why is this not already a trim package option?
@ Sean: Yep, Levi is fine now. This was actually the only time he threw up, and in the morning he was as good as new.
@ Heidi & Anita: OUCH. Your horror stories top my own. *shudders*
11. Anne Denniston wrote:
Toooootally not looking forward to vomit and having to wipe my kids’ rear ends when they’re potty-training/new at the toilet *shudders*
Try carpet cleaner with baking soda in it for deoderizing? You could also try a natural citrus spray.
OH! I have an idea. I keep reading about things that are well-known for fighting diaper-bucket odors. Lavender oil and tea tree oil are supposed to be really good for fighting odors and disinfecting.
Hope that helps. If nothing else, the citrus and stuff should kill the smells. Sean and I were traveling home for Christmas and a baby or something made a HORRIBLE smell on the plane. So much so that the stewardess came by with a spray can of citrus stuff and Sean and I were both amazed because we never smelled the bad stuff after that for an entire 4 hour flight. Unfortunately I don’t know what it was, but it was really good stuff and it didn’t smell fakey.
12. Clint wrote:
Thanks for the deoderizing suggestions Anne. I think that we’ll be exploring some of those…
13. Anne Denniston wrote:
I bet you WILL! :p *makes fake puking noises and gestures just to torture you the way you torture her with the “m” word*
Now if there was ever a time when M chunks… AAAAAHHHHHH *cringes and falls over dead*
I thought I could gross you out, but ended up grossing myself out *dies*
=X_x=
14. Clint wrote:
LOL. Lovin’ it! Wait, was the word you were looking for, perchance, MOIST?
MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!
15. Kyle Beale wrote:
That reminds me of a little story involving me, my dad, vomit. I was less than a year old and had just had a bottle, and my dad was holding me up above him while he was lying on his back and bouncing me up and down. Of course, my stomach didn’t really agree with this idea and I proceeded to throw up all over my dad’s face. I think he did end up learning his lesson though
17. Maureen Williams wrote:
When I was in the 9 to 11 age range I was very sick one day and threw up alot but it was managed cleanly. I then went to bed still feeling malaised and around 2 or 3 in the morning I woke up and used the bucket by my bed. I called to my parents and my father responded. He opened the door a crack and I told him I had been sick again. He asked if I had puked on the floor and I said no. So he entered bare foot and in the dark and the horrible squish was heard. Evidently I had puked while I was sleeping and it went across my room to the door. I know I have some sort of horrible karma coming my way for that!
18. Clint wrote:
Hahaha… Maureen that is so gross! Talk about projectile vomiting. Man, I really opened up the floodgates for puke stories here…
19. Dharma Bum wrote:
It almost tops John’s vomit at the fair story!
Wasn’t that a peach milkshake?
1. Jed wrote:
nooooooooooooooo…
Ezra ‘blessed’ our van about a month ago. The shampoo machines at the car wash by costco were massively helpful.
I ask this with fear and trepidation: any Rancho Viejo connection??